Was I Dancing?

Kilimanjaro, 2006

"Dale, stop that," my darling spouse hissed from behind.

"Stop what?"

"Stop dancing!"

Whaaaa . . . was I dancing?  Maybe -- and, why the heck not?  Life was soooo good.  I'd just retired from the army and was making my way toward the Roof of Africa!  I took a look over my shoulder and saw poor Cliff surrounded in a cloud of PigPen-like dust.  We were making our way through a dusty bowl between soaring rock walls.  And I, kicking up my heels up to (no kidding, on my iTunes Shuffle) Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas," was producing a puff of silty dust that cloaked all those on the trail behind me.

Lesson learned: It is indeed an experience of joyous flow to be in the moment; stay in the moment.  And sometimes it's best to step off the trail and give in completely to a mini in-the-moment dance party.  In fact, stepping off into an overlook jetty to surrender to a mid-trek hullabaloo can enrich the jubilation (and totally juice the flow).  Aligning and harmonizing a very present heart and head serves to focus and to honor that which must be savored before moving along.  Yesterday, we took a tiny side-step to do just that.  And in a moment of complete surprise, Dr. Rixe even joined us!

OK, so it was a little dance party in the onco-shaman's office only in the most figurative of speech.  I've never seen the special teams' captain dance . . . and really do not expect to.  But his eyes were dancing -- his eyebrows bouncing above his round (think Harry Potter, only rimless) eyeglass lens.  There was no doubt his COVD19 mask concealed a giant smile.  The scan results were in, and they were good.  Really good.  Last Thursday's MRI showed NO disease progression.  Half of the lesions on my liver are gone.  The remaining two have been reduced by half -- basically pared down to the size of two very small peas.  My labs were perfectly normal and my cancer marker (CEA) was once again (two months in a row) below any detectable range.  And I know, I usually wait 'til the Progress Report section of my posts to detail this type of info -- but ya know, this is just one of those times to jump off the trail and bust a move.  A little celebration is welcome here.  And we are due.

Dr. Rixe also was happy to inform us that I qualified for the clinical trial he mentioned during our last meeting, and should our current path get scrambled, we have a relevant (and very good) treatment option.  He asked how the mistletoe therapy is going -- and shared with us that he and Dr. Hooper (my integrative medicine doc) now are consulting on my care (yay!).  And perhaps the coolest thing Dr. Rixe said yesterday is that we can't really know exactly what has arrested the disease progression -- given all the conventional, integrative and complementary steps of the entire team -- but it is working.  Dr. Rixe has no need to be the saviour -- no ego.  Really, he's just a little bit magical.  His guidance to us: "Just keep doing all that you're doing." 

So yep, we'll keep:

• Dancing
• Learning
• Jumping in the pool together every afternoon
• Operating with open, flexible, growth mindsets
• Choosing optimism
• Celebrating our amazing warrior team (if you're reading this blog, you're likely a member)
• Committing to those things we have to live for (vs reasons not to die)
• Following a therapeutic ketogenic nutrition plan (that's just me, Cliff eats healthfully, yet not with my dietary limitations)
• Administering mistletoe therapy (think Cliff, with a syringe in his hand three days a week -- target: my belly)
• Practicing Blueprint for Health energy work
• Jumping on the Peloton to pedal with Denis, Sam, Matt or Robin -- or on the tread with Matty (sure others too -- but Matty is just pure human happiness!)  -- All HIIT for me, of course.
• Taking slow, leisurely post-dinner strolls with the dogs
• Savoring our often breathtaking Southwestern sunrises and sunsets
• Tending our plants
• Maintaining and renovating our dream home
• And talking excitedly about our next chapter

We know we truly are blessed -- and we are (oh so) grateful.  Every.  Single. Day.

Quote of the Day:

 Life is short, wear your party pants.

                           ~Loretta LaRoche (Stress expert and humor consultant)

Bound for Treatment #18

VIA FRANCIGENA!

Uniquely Unexpected

There are some aspects of the Unexpected Journey that truly have no clear connection to the experience of trekking -- to try to make the connection for the sake of the blog would seem contrived at best.  And while the current state of affairs, which I am about to describe, is unique to our current footsteps along the Unexpected Journey, getting here (and moving from here to there) definitely requires prized trekker mindsets and characteristics like: flexibility, optimism, deep belief in one's abilities, willingness to venture forth despite long odds/unknowns (accepting possible failure as an opportunity for deep learning and growth), curiosity, perseverance, passion, team-orientation and spirited joy in the present.

On my way to Treatment #17

I said from my earliest blog (now forty posts, ten months, seventeen treatments and two surgeries ago), "I know I can do this!!  I am NOT a cancer victim."  Back then, I identified myself as a cancer patient . . . but really I have been a cancer warrior from the start.  And in that regard, I also now recognize (with the help of my amazing partner, Cliff) that although this cancer is a part of me, I am not at war with any part of me or my body, rather I am endeavoring everyday fully to understand the terrain, and adopt the battle tactics that will extinguish (or at least lay dormant) my cancer.  I never have felt as though I would die of this disease.  That does not mean I have moved forward without experiencing fear (at times intense fear). 

The plain truth is: I didn't get the surgical cure in February.  I've had setbacks (likely not the last) of accelerating cancer markers, scans that showed disease progression, crappy treatment side effects and knowledge of a pretty evil genetic mutation that's crafty in changing its tactics -- forcing us to keep changing ours.  I've had meteoric emotional highs and some corresponding lows.  And I've learned how to achieve equanimity (a practice, not a perfect).  And through it all, I wake up each day grateful for my life.  I remain determined to understand and combat the manifesting causes and symptoms of my cancer and to win. 

For now, our curiosity, flexibility, belief and willingness to explore have led us to tweak (in some significant ways) our path.  For example, over the course of forty posts you've become acquainted with many (most) members of the amazing warrior team, to include the team of medical professionals.  And in this post, I am thrilled to be able announce we are expanding our ranks to include an integrative medicine physician -- and a naturopathic oncologist with whom she will consult in my care.  And perhaps the very BEST news about this expansion -- is that my super-hero, onco-shaman, special teams' captain, Dr. Olivier Rixe, is enthusiastically onboard with the team expansion.  Just today, I was reading a book by an acclaimed cancer nutritionist, who was musing about a best-case time in the future when conventional oncologists and integrative medicine experts would work together in managing cancer.  I was reminded how fortunate I am to be working with open-minded, collaborative professionals who put warrior care above ego or recognition.  And even better, they welcome Cliff and me as team members (not pawns) by championing my involvement in my care, listening with interest to our concerns/ideas and never dismissing our questions (and yes, we show up for every appointment with a list!).  For us, the time is now, the team is topnotch and we have the perseverance and passion (aka: grit) to trek on.  Being a part of this powerful, determined and dedicated team fortifies my determination to show up (Every. Single. Day.) with energy, focus, resolve and commitment to thrive.

For more tweaks, check out this post's progress report.

Quotes of the Day:

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.  

            ~Dan Millman  (from "Way of the Peaceful Warrior")

The strength of the team is each individual member, the strength of the individual is the team.

                     ~Phil Jackson (former NBA player, coach and executive)


Progress Report:

• Treatment #17 (week 1). 
• Scan and new marker test are scheduled in two weeks (hopefully marker and scan results match this time -- and both show NOTHING!)
• Dr. Rixe began steps to screen me for a new clinical trial focusing on cancer and the microbiome (more and more research indicates a strong microbiome-cancer connection).  This is a back-up plan only.  If we have success with the current protocol, it may never be employed.  Still, I love that my oncologist doesn't sit back on anything in my treatment.
• Mistletoe therapy begins in nine days.
• I've switched to a Ketogenic nutrition plan designed specifically for cancer patients -- suggested by my new doctor on the team.
• I've converted the "Triple T" training plan into a high intensity interval training (HIIT) plan -- also upon the advice of my integrative medicine doc, who pointed out endurance exercise is actually recognized as increasing inflammation in the body (another metabolic factor in cancer).  You know, I read about this when I was training for my IronMan a decade ago.  I decided then to dismiss the research.  Oh, how a change in vantage point can open the mind!
• I've been in the pool most days for the last two weeks.  It is great exercise and super therapeutic -- especially since Cliff joins me each day layering the water with kindness and compassion.  
• The apricot seedlings now are busy growing into samplings in new, larger pots.
• I'm putting the finishing touches on the next-to-last of the warrior princesses sewing projects.
• And yes, I'm still feeling good -- and super positive, strong and determined. 

Orchid blossom number seven opened this week!

Twentieth flower arrangement from the amazing Barton's Flowers in Santa Fe (Thank you, Steve, Ruth and Melinda for your care in designing and providing the most fabulous (and fabulously fresh) arrangements.)

 

VIA FRANCIGENA!!