Path Diversions

Every seasoned trekker understands there are many paths leading to any destination.  Sometimes we deliberately take a detour.  Sometimes we must make a new route.  And of course, there are those times when we suddenly find ourselves deflected from our course without any forethought.  Each diversion holds opportunities for discovery, learning and growth.  Our contribution to earning these gifts is, of course awareness.  In times of adversity, the wherewithal to remain aware can be challenged on a blind curve, obscured in a foggy marsh, or twisted by a new, unexpected mountain range.  We may question what steps brought us here . . . or worry about the future (really, there's no valuable energy in either preoccupation).  To return to the present we: Pause, breathe, appreciate this wonderful moment, and smile.

My Mala Beads -- Japa Meditation

On Sunday, we got it all: We rounded a sharp curve, with a hopeful expectation of what would come next. Beyond the bend, we stumbled onto an unfamiliar, fog-shrouded path; momentarily losing our bearings in the unknown.   Emerging from the haze, we found ourselves at the face of a new mountain wall -- without a clear footpath to the summit.  We can see moving ahead calls for breaking trail in a new landscape . . . such is the way of the Unexpected Journey.

There is a certain charm and motivation in diversions -- and perhaps most specifically in the business of breaking trail.  Untrampled ground demands presence and awareness.  Nothing is predictable, much is unknown (and unknowable).  We landed here: On a diversion.  It is only from here, that we can proceed.  And so we are moving forward, one moment, one step at a time . . .

The blind curve:

• The results of my most recent MRI 

The foggy path:

• How can this scan mismatch with my continually decreasing cancer markers?

 The new mountain wall:

• My early remission is erased.  My cancer is progressing.

Quote of the Day:

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

                                                                    ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Progress Report: (Cycle 13, Week One)

• The Friday scan revealed four new lesions on the right lobe of my liver.  None larger than the size of a pea, yet enough to kick my early remission to the curb.
• This detour seems to indicate my cancer has become chemo resistant.
• My super-hero oncologist was ready with a new plan when we met on Monday, which we'll begin on 20 April.  I'll start an all-targeted therapy protocol then.
• Since COVID19 has closed all non-essential businesses (to include my hairstylist), Cliff and I together shaved my head today.  We didn't do too badly -- hair is about a half-inch all around.  Believe me, as thin as it is, the cut is the right answer.
• We finished our NYT Spelling Bee early this morning (it's a TeamBoltz thing to achieve Genius status each day -- takes two!).  Then we danced to: "I'm Free (Heaven Help the Man)" by Kenny Loggins.  So much to celebrate.  Every. Single. Day.
• I hand-sewed my own COVID19 cloth mask with my clumsy neuropathic paws.  New sewing machine is inbound! (Thank you, Marj, for making that happen!)
• Spring is coming to Santa Fe and the days are glorious.  Last cycle, in addition to my treadmill workouts (yes, I'm adding short running intervals now), I joined Cliff and Illy on our 3.5 mile loop (slowly, but surely, I got 'er done!) 

VIA FRANCIGENA!