Tripping Along a Level Path

Wild Horses on the ridge line

As a trekker, I find there's nothing more pleasurable than hitting a level, even path after many, many (in this case of the Unexpected Journey many+) miles of seemingly never-ending ups and downs across the most challenging of terrain.  Level walking -- especially when company, views and vantage points are good -- make tripping along sheer joy.  We had a couple days of flat (or mostly flat) walking in Wales on Offa's Dyke path last summer (our last long walk, which concluded after 200 glorious miles, just ten days before the Unexpected Journey began). 

Delightful canal path

Farmer's Offa's Dyke easement (Cliff)

In Wales, as in life, I knew to allow myself fully to enjoy an even path when it presented itself -- And I know to create my own leveling by taking a "we'll see" attitude of curiosity and celebration when it doesn't.  On the Unexpected Journey, staying present and welcoming each new moment with discovery is a far better leveler than trying to guess what tomorrow will bring.  This week, I'm solidly planted in presence and discovery -- and coincidentally, walking easily (not always the case on this journey, though I'm quite good at coming back to this place again and again).  Mindfulness, after all, is a practice not a perfect.

For the last three weeks I've been walking along quite an even path of blessed equanimity.  Although my first round of targeted treatment threw me for a loop, round two -- and now three days into round three -- have offered up some level, easy terrain.  Despite not sharing the predictability of chemo (one week of guaranteed suck followed by a week of reprieve), these last two-and-a-half weeks of targeted therapy have been quite gentle.  No skin rashes (the most commonly observed side-effect of my drugs) and little or no nausea with what is now an increasing appetite (although not for everything . . . ).  I'm holding my weight.  I feel like exercising and I've shown up for my Triple T workouts 12 out of 13 days since committing myself to this new training plan (took a rest day at the end of week one (arm strength training and a tread walk without a Peloton ride that day)).  I am loving these workouts!  I always told my coaching clients that energy begets energy -- and I am living proof.  The bike portion is getting me back to those heart-pounding workouts I crave (out of the saddle some now . . .).  I feel better and happier.  I am sleeping better.  I am eating better (greater quantities --still on the anti-angiogenic regime).  I can feel my immune system responding.  As my Aunt June says, Hallelujah!

Quote of the Day:

Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.

                                                                          ~Carl Jung

Progress Report:

• Treatment 16: Targeted treatment number three.
• Great appointment with Dr. Rixe on Monday.  Marker test results were so low as to not be detectable within the standard range.  Here's a place for me to stay with a "we'll see"  attitude.  This may be a fabulous result, but it will take my next scan to confirm success in the new treatment protocol.
• Dr. Rixe has approved mistletoe therapy as complementary therapy for me.  Commonly used as adjuvant or complementary cancer treatment in Europe (not yet FDA-approved in the US), Johns Hopkins in Baltimore currently is running a clinical trial on mistletoe for cancer and a doctor in our area administers the treatment (integrative medicine).  This is particularly exciting because of the many things mistletoe does, it strengthens the immune system AND . . . 
• My targeted therapy is recognized as a type of immuno-therapy thanks to the signal-inhibiting attribute of the drugs to unmask the cancer cells' ability to "hide" from my T-cell super hero fighters (my T-cells are currently a tad suppressed).  For this reason, I want one amped-up immune system!
• Today I rode the Peloton for 45 minutes!!  Oh, the joy of movement!
• Cliff and I are feeling good strong, positive and determined.  
• One of my orchids is premiering beautiful new blossoms every day or two (thank you Beth-io!).  And those apricot seeds I germinated?  Nine of nine sprouted seeds are growing into impressive seedlings.  This household is full of life and positive energy.

VIA FRANCIGENA!

Channeling a Little James Brown . . .

To start: Check out You Tube (20 second clip):


Seriously, I feel good!

So, how does a trekker make her way out of the valley of impatience into feeling good (so good)?

A couple of things have made all the difference:

First of all, managing expectations.  I expected targeted therapy to be "easier" than chemo.  And when the first round wasn't . . . well, I was disappointed and saw my pace fall off a tad.  But hey, that was a week ago!  THIS targeted treatment (#2) I took myself back to my trekking philosophy (and my wellness blog) and reread the excerpt below (this from prepping for the Haute Route from Chamonix to Zermatt in 2013):

  

     "In less than a week, I’ll be hiking again – this time in the Alps.  As I stand ready to secure my passport, lace up my boots and grab my trekking poles, the things not on the packing list for this trip are expectations.  I don’t expect planes and trains to run on time (or not).  I don’t expect the weather to be sunny (or not).   I haven’t studied the terrain for each hiking day of the trip so that I don’t have a daily expectation of rigor (or not).  I don’t know any of my fellow trekkers (except my husband).  I know whatever I could learn about the assembled group will not affect whatever will happen in the present moment in the mountains – so why bother? 
     The truth is that living in the future, -- that is, playing out in our minds how we expect something to happen -- almost always leads to an imbalance . . . and tends then to load our packs with emotions like regret, disappointment, resentment, disbelief and injustice.    
     A calm and balanced expectation-less outlook is valuable far beyond the mountains and the trekking life.  (For me, today, that's in my cancer treatment.  Perhaps for you it's anytime you grab your briefcase, car keys, shopping list or dog leash.)  For all of us, it's when we notice expectation jumping up and down in the corner expecting (naturally), even begging, to join us, and we choose to leave it behind.    
     These days, I'm choosing to trek with a lighter pack and sturdy poles on some seriously feel-good terrain.  How about you?"

Second, I have a new training plan . . . and everyone knows I love a training plan! So after months of my stay-active "Rule of 21s," this week I devised a new plan.  I'm calling it the "Triple T" plan.  That stands for "Treatment Tri(athlon) Training plan.  The way it works is this: I tailor my daily training to (1) Swimming: Right now that's just weight training to work my arms, back and chest since sun and chlorine are off limits in my new treatment regimen, (2) Cycling, and (3) Walking/Running.  Yes, all three!  Done in a single workout session.  In the order of a triathlon.  This morning, I kicked off the "Triple T" and it was joyous!  Today marked my first time back on our Peloton since the end of November (right before chemo showed its worst face).  It was also my first time back on my tread since targeted therapy (two-plus weeks).  My exercise for a couple of weeks had been short walks outside.  The "Triple T" is a motivating, invigorating and fulfilling transition.  What a blast -- I FEEL GOOD! 

Quote of the day:

You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.

                                                           ~John Kabat Zinn 

On my way to Target #2

Progress Update:

Check out the Kix

• Targeted treatment round two has been more than bearable. 
• And here they, are "darned shoes" (mentioned in last post) as I headed into Targeted Therapy Round Two on Monday.
• I'm focused on strengthening my immune system with nutrition, exercise, meditation and energy work.  Feeling strong -- in the fight!!!
• Cliff's gotta shave my head today . . . I wake up in the morning's looking like a cross between a baby chicken and Susan Powter (Stop the Insanity from the 1990s -- remember her?).
• Sewing/quilting projects are going great -- first two delivered. 
•  Finally, my at-home persona is doing wonders for my plants!  Check them out (and yes, one is a Christmas Poinsettia!).  Not pictured, my apricot tree seedlings, sprouted from last year's fruit seeds!

And the flowers (oh the flowers!) . . .

Thank you, Mariko and Marty!

Thank you Super-Cliff!

VIA FRANCIGENA!