The Conditioning Effect

When one lands on a path mid-stride -- without the rich pleasure of researching journey destinations, travel modes and route variations -- the unknowns loom large. Each new sight and sound seems a curiosity without context or relative experience to frame understanding:  Is this supposed to be a landmark? Was that my turn? Am I approaching the sight line? Is this the best place to rest/take refuge from the weather/make my summit approach?

The unknown and unknowable peek round corners and shimmer along horizons.  And while they tease our sensibilities, what we do know is that on every journey (this one included) we can expect and rely upon the inevitable benefits of what we call the conditioning effect.  The conditioning effect is a welcome phenomena we experience, no matter our pre-trek research, planning and training.  It is the reward of the road that makes us stronger and more able every day.  It takes our peak physical training status and toughens it.  It makes real the waymarks on a GPS or map and aids navigation.  It instills confidence by transforming our research narrative into real people and actual terrain.  

The conditioning effect is (as much mentally and emotionally as it is) physically strengthening. It comes from the cumulative experience and exertion of crossing long distances across varied terrain — and gently reminds us that no matter how thorough our preparation, it is the progress that makes us more able and resilient. It is the people sharing the path who enhance our experience and broaden our perspective. It is the business of being underway that teaches us best how to proceed. And even the unexpected journey, which feels at times all surprise and mystery, delivers the benefit of the conditioning effect — an en route bonus that says, “You’ll not only get there, you’ll arrive in even better shape, with deeper understanding and greater appreciation for your own determination and the goodness of humankind.”  Being aware of this effect helps us to recognize the gains (and yes, there are some) -- and how best to consolidate them going forward (through treatment and beyond) to increase our power and strength one step, one day at a time.

This week -- Week Two, Cycle One, is the perfect week to reflect upon and consolidate our conditioning before we head into Cycle Two, and the next round of chemo, next week.  Our conditioning so far has given us invaluable feedback and knowledge regarding:

• How to adjust our pace and temper our expectations -- especially around chemotherapy side effects and how best to manage them as we continue on this path. 

• Ways to strengthen our physical and emotional muscles. We’re tired and sore at the end of a tough day, but know from experience we’ll be revived and ready to trek on in the morning.

• Techniques to calm the chaos, hone our powers of observation, and increase our awareness of all that is external to our being. I think there’s a choice of expanding or shrinking one’s world when confronted with a cancer diagnosis -- I prefer to reach into expansive space.

• Ways to identify and welcome new vistas that (and guides who) appear only once the journey begins. How great to live in a city so rich in healing support, from my amazing medical team to the insightful and gracious mindfulness community promoting self care.

• How (gratefully and with great humility) to accept the prayers, kindness and best energy of friends and family. Special thanks to: Malissa (one of the busiest professionals I know) who gave me a full day of care and support -- filling the gap between Cliff’s departure and my sister’s arrival; Jeanne’, who cooked an Italian dinner that filled the tummy and soul (the most I’ve eaten since our feet hit this path); My sister and her husband whose presence in the first (and toughest) week of chemo Cycle One, allowed Cliff to visit his mom in PA.

This rich trail data informs, confirms, reassures and comforts us along the way -- and comprises our gains, which we are consolidating for strength and power as the journey unfolds.  

Progress: Chemo leg one started out with a couple of easy days (treatment day (9 Sep) and the following day were deceptively kind). And, as the oncology nurse projected, Day Four (12 Sep) was a rough ride. With Cliff out of town visiting his mom, my darling sister held my hand, urged me to eat through the nausea, and helped me through the worst of it all. By the weekend I was bouncing back. Cliff’s midnight (Saturday) return seemed to jettison the vestiges of treatment discomfort, and by Sunday my appetite was back. The goal this week is to gain some weight (chemo leg one wiped out the marginal gain I’d managed post surgery) and to work on my strength. I’m walking again (for the past four days). And I’m dancing (Every. Single. Day.).  Our laundry and pantry projects have begun and Cliff and I are cooking together as a process of discovering what’s palatable and nourishing through a fourteen-day cycle. 

So this is a week to rest, recover, restore and regenerate before the inevitable repeat, which begins with Cycle Two on 24 September.  We know for sure that putting life on hold for six months to kick cancer is simply a non-starter. Whatever else this is, it also is an opportunity to learn and grow.  The unexpected journey is a hail and hardy teacher, and we are engaged learners -- in for the long haul!

Quote of the Day:

Just do it!  ~Nike Ad Campaign (enduring since 1987)

Illy Resting, Restoring and Regenerating

VIA FRANCIGENA, 2020!